Church of Starbucks. Sunday, my 64th birthday. Musings. Google said happy birthday - at once, fun, pleasing, surprising and disconcerting.
For days and weeks I have meant to go to the Starbucks (the only one for miles) to write and read or just be. Today is the day - my birthday present to myself. This is a discipline. It is easy to get sidetracked at home. To do chores, or feed the dog or wash clothes - always some trivial task to do.
There is a gentleman sitting near me - he was here yesterday - and he is doing art. He has a large piece of paper and is coloring a free hand drawing I think he drew.
I measure the day in successful mini accomplishments like going on a walk with Buddy. Reading, doing something creative. Going to a meeting or having coffee at Bagels by the Sea with the women. I have met some interesting, amazing, age defying, fearless women of all ages here in Seaside via AA.
But still finding my way. Seems like I have been still finding my way for ages. At all ages. Forever. Does one ever move from finding your way to being on the path and knowing it? Some people do.
“In Other Words” is the most evocative, unpretentious, astute account of a writing life I have read. In part, this is because Lahiri so unabashedly asks and answers big and vexing questions: “Why do I write? To investigate the mystery of existence. To tolerate myself. To get closer to everything that is outside of me.”
“I write to feel alone,” Lahiri declares, which speaks to the paradox of being a writer to begin with, notably one who has tens of thousands of readers in many languages. In interviews, Lahiri has extolled the virtues of anonymity whenever she can return to Italy, sit in a cafe, line up espressos and talk with her neighbors.
Some thoughts surface, that have been there for a long time:
- write something every day, three blank pages
- study
- read
- live in Italy for periods of time
- have a spiritual practice
- become an oblate
- study more - several subjects
- go on trips alone
- do art digitally
- do art on paper
- maybe teach art journaling?
- learn enough Italian to be conversational
- stop working corporate job
- stay fit, work on balance and strength
- be a better family member
- be a better grandma
- be healthy
- be a better wife - or rather accept, love and support Rome
- travel to a few places - do not need to go everywhere
- some noteworthy places are reservoirs of the Missouri
- travel to support study and spiritual path
- travel to support language and art
- write poetry like Louis Jenkins and others....
- I am not sure if I will every learn a language as well as Jhumpa Lahiri (I love her book about learning Italian how it enhanced her writing and gave her a new "voice")
- Drink good coffee everywhere
- generate cash
- create prosperity
- have more than enough money and prosperity for everything I want to do, include giving it away
I see artists on OPB and other places. Writers, painters, to people doing amazing things like standup paddle boarding down a river with rapids. Passion, discipline and focus.
My little goals seem insignificant, but they are significant to me.
A few things being revealed.
Took a loss on Idylwide on Big Pine Lake. Perhaps a benefit. Will provide a tax break for the next several years as I move into retirement.
Looking at end of 2017 as a stopping date. Could utilize savings until I reach FRA. I could take the spousal benefit and hold off taking my benefit until post FRA of 66 years.
Tax consultant recommended that we stay with MN state taxes.
Other concerns - actually thought about selling this house and buying a new house - maybe Gearhart?
More later.....mission accomplished.
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