More, after Kandinsky.

 Part of just do art. Simple marks. 

Pick a door, there is a story.

Write a story, open a door.  I get to create my story.  Even as I realize that part of this story is the same old story.  A story I am sick of, or tired of.  I created a story that I followed or rather that pushed me forward seemingly of its own volition.  And now, did I forget? This story that keeps evolving, is what I created. 

I became lighter - less stuff.  Estate sale in Oregon, Auction at the cabin.  I am being careful not to collect again.  In fact, I have not totally unpacked the few things in boxes in this house.  Even now I am thinking about what I can get rid of or repurpose at the cabin. 

I became lighter - I let go of much, treasured things carefully curated over years. I think I am still unsettled, but maybe I'm not accepting that I am more settled then I am willing to admit. No matter. Part of the story, the result of this activity over the last couple of years.

A couple of thoughts, I can do whatever I want. I don't have to tell anyone my business.  It is not weird if I keep things close to the vest.

I decided I wanted to have a homebase. I decided I want to travel and wanted to have an easier place to travel from and return to.  I still want to swim and paddle.  There are challenges, shorter trips? Less expensive? I have family to visit. I have a doggie to deal with during all of this. I may make another choice, I may choose to be somewhere else, to do something different.  Whatever I choose, I choose.      

Simple Shapes after Kandinsky

 

Just do some art.  Scribble, draw circles, draw squares.  Add marks, add color, scribble some more.

Landscape with Ink

 Simple, sepia, indigo.  Sketchbook practice.

Sketchbook lines, cross hatch, white marks

 

Quiet Observations, common, frequent, often known, the usual.

 

Sad.  Shitty retirement. Almost a month.  Now - over the next week, it begins.  One month without a paycheck after 45 years or more.  Can I do this?  I have prepared.  My spiritual practice is my back.

I watch vintage couples, my age walking hand in hand.  Walking, walking, moving through the landscape.  Having a meal, walking the dog, driving, taking a trip, shopping, doing those things that people our age do together. 

I know we women are strong, calm, all seeing or at least clear sited. 

Clear sited.

Remember to pause. 

Listening deeply. 

Compassionate self care.

Sense of the collective. 

  

Corporate Departure Riff to Retirement March 20th, 2023.

 

Sketchbook circles - appropriate, I think for where I am at.  I declared my intention of being riffed into retirement and it happened. 

Objectives or intentions declared can be powerful.   

I do not miss work, have been concerned about having enough cash, but I am managing and "watching".  Of course, who knows, if RHH will put a kink into my careful planning or monitoring.  

During this time I repeat "words" and slogans to help me stay focused and to remind me to "empty" my mind of junk.

Compassionate self care is my primary focus right now.  Pausing.  I used to say breathe - but taking a pause is a more active choice.  I intend to pause.

Pausing means to practice deep listening.  Not talking.  Being open to being empty and receptive.  Restoration in luminous darkness.  (I remember during work life traveling, sitting in the dark, quite early in the morning before the work day began, drinking coffee (sometimes bad coffee) and just "sitting" in the dark.

Even looking back the image, experience makes me feel restored.  Safe, observant. 

I am snapped back to now - and repeat, no matter what the circumstances, respond with kindness.  My current reality demands a forgiving, loving (self love and love to rhh) way of being.