Pulling weeds.

A "discovered" unpublished post from early summer - pulling weeds is easeir since this was written.  Other than easier physical movement - much is the same.  More about that later....let's publish!   

A way to "move".  Lean in and over, stretch, downward pulling weeds.  Leg bone to hip socket knocks.

This exercise is the movement accomplishment for today.

I love the picture of Mom sitting on the big flat rock - where is this place?  Rainy Lake? Young, great sandals,  cool dress, summer girl.  My folks loved the "lakes".  We do too.

Is Dad taking the picture? Is he in the lake? Taking the shot from a boat or dock.  By the size of the boulders and rocks I would say this is Rainy Lake or Rainy River.

A fine photo to kick off summer.

Another challennging week. Another chance to feel less than the others, or inadequat,  not as good as.
I hear others talk about their clients and I feel I am missing something or not doing enough.  But still not always sure what I should be doing.  And then there is the kool-aid. Not drinking it.

I catch myself on edge, almost in a panic and I think - it does not matter.  I have a moment of clarity.
I know that one foot in front of the other will move me forward.   Or move me somewhere, someplace.

This feels like a no win terrible situation.  I need medical with my hip.  But I do not have time off - no vacation time and do not know about sick leave.   I do not fell like I can take any down time  - but I must get this hip fixed.  I worry about taking time for the surgery and not being able to travel to get back to work right away.  What will happen?  Should I cancel or postpone the surgery?

How much will it cost?

There are times when I can see and feel myself walking down a street in Florence, stopping at one of the markets, getting coffee.

This wonderful painting of bluffs, mountains and trees is by a beautiful young woman named Isabelle Johnson.  I saw her paintings in the Yellowstone Gallery today in Billings.   When you google her name her modeling photos appear - but her paintings and the collages she does with Sophia are inspiring to me.

There are moments when I have a clearer view or more of a  glimpse of what might be coming next.

Streets of Florence, fishing in northern Minnesota, or Montana or maybe Alaska.

What is wraps me is the fear I still feel all the time and the "less than" that still plagues me.  Why do I apologize for everything?  "I'm sorry you got me - not someone who knows something".  Why do I think I don't know anything?  I am just as good, smart, beautiful and capable as anyone else.

Tomorrow another challenge with my new job - I can do this.

I make a contribution.  I am smart, calm, knowledgable and can help.