More snow today.

There is a break of time between previous and new position.  I asked for this.  But as often happens - it has been too cold, or snowy, or too many things pending or on hold to fully make use of the time off.

This has been frustrating.

I have had little drive to really make use of the time.   Is this the neutral zone?  I find myself staring out the window with another cup of coffee wondering what I should be doing or why I cannot seem to do the next thing.

No motivation to create art, to reach out to anyone, to read, to clean,  to organize, to write.  Sometimes moving has been hard between hip joint and leg pain.  I have managed to move - one thing I have done.

I do acknowledge myself for small "victories" - little things I accomplish.  Give myself slack for not  doing much and congratulate myself  when small things are done.  Incremental steps, movement, accomplishments.

Self talk has not been stellar - needs to be more positive and pointed.  I have avoided thinking too hard about what is coming up.  The whole thing about new company, new team, new position,  new work at this stage is not something I am looking forward to.  There is fear.

At the same time - I did  create this.  That is powerful.  Others - are still looking.  Have been looking for months.

Many are younger than me and really need to have a "career" for a few more years.

I am open to the whole experience.   It may be that what I do most is stay grateful.

I did pull out the snowshoes today and that did help.  I can still do that and did enjoy being out.   I did read 5 chapters of "Wishes Fulfilled" this morning.   Reaffirm what I know but sometimes forget to practicee.

I do not miss GE - really time to move on.

I am acting as if.  I trust and believe I will get it together.          Let's Lectio Divinia