The undertow

Election 2016
terrifying
racist, xenophobe
sexist
short attention span
talks nonsense
dangerous
fear monger
ignorant

why are some so ignorant
I am not making this up
Justice David Souter said democracy dies when we are ignorant - problems are not solved and someone shows up and says they will solve everything.....
So the asshole is suggesting an infrastructure project like he is the "hero".  Everyone has bid this before.  His own so called party will not support this.  They did not support Obama.  

Many are still shocked and it looks like we will regress much progress around new forms of energy, recognizing diversity and just being civil.

Took train into Portland.  Such a reputation for being a progressive, "cool" place.  Looked just like any other city to me.  Train, Trimet, ran through industrial areas the the back of buildings, like trains do and there was trash everywhere,   City was just a city from the view I had.  Made it to Macy's - same old stuff.  Same old urban area, same looking unhealthy people, yukkie food, etc etc etc

Hanging out - trying to make the situation of two business trips "comfortable" to me.  I did not want to drive over the pass and turnaround and drive back.  A client trip last week and CHC next week. Paid for hotel myself and used miles for the flight. At this point, about being OK and making things easier for me.

I have done this many times.  Hung out somewhere between flights, between meetings, or client events, sales gigs etc.  I know this - but it is old.  Used to be fun, a chance to tour and investigate. Usually what happens is that I eat and spend money.

Rome went to the shop - good for him.    

If I had done something creative during all of the downtown I have had over the years - I could have written a novel, or done some fantastic doodling, or even better work than I did.

Much of the time I vegetated. Now I have some time on my hands to think of the next step.  Like maybe should I retire?  What will I do?  Do we think we can afford it?

I could have done so much.  I am lazy.  I want to stay home?  Do I ?  I want to have productive time.

       I feel like a lump sometimes.  Of course, it has been a challenging year.  Many blessings but also many hard things.  Sold house on Ferman, that was lucky.  Moved out in January, very difficult.  Rome diagnosed with throat cancer.  Smoking.  From January to February chemo and radiation.  Then we bought a house in Seaside - finally moved to house.  Drove 1749 miles in two vehicles to the house.  So good and not so good.  But amazing that we have stayed on our "plan".  Not sure what the benefit is for me yet.  Have hardly been at the new house.  Rainy weather when I have been there. Not sure I like the place.  But I need to accept and be grateful.

Accept and be grateful.  I have hardly done anything creative or productive except to go to work and unpack the house.  I think I want to retire - but must be ready to decide what will I do with the time:

• Work out - walk on the beach with Buddy, maybe jog a little.  Life weights.
• Check out volunteering at Fort Clatsop.
• Art?  Work on an art-book? 
• Find a studio or place to work?
• Check out spiritual options - church etc.
• Yoga class downtown Seaside. 
• Go to weight watchers. 
• Other travel?