write three pages

or next time your are stressed think of this - here for a reason
I look at the lovely images and watercolors on Pinterest selecting what pleases or inspires me to use as prompts, or practice images to encourage creativity and nothing happens

why can't I make that happen - it seems like looking at images and picturing how I could create something similar goes not farther than book marking the picture

I think - I can do that and then I don't
I can't seem to be able to gather the tools, the drive, the inspiration, discipline to "make" anything

it is so frustrating and I feel like a lump wasting time  why is this so hard? there is nothing that inspires enough to take the next step
lazy, lump
feeling fat, if I feel fat, lazy and like an uninspired lump, probably I am

such an old selfish self obsessive way to think
ego - being overly concerned about myself and self centered

this is what one creates if you dwell on these thoughts

I blame this inactivity and lack of creativity on a long hard winter, but his is more of what is always going on

why cannot I not do anything that is helpful, creative and beneficial

I look over my life and so much wasted time yet I do not know what I want to do or what I would do
do other people feel like this?  I think about being grateful and I just take up space

I use and consume and play it safe not taking a risk
then I spend time going over all the times in my life that I Have been ingenuous, have lied, have been boisterous arrogant and loud

I feel bad, what is the purpose?
will I ever make an honest contribution?

I am who I am I am that I am
I am creative, prosperous, humble
I am receptive and I know what it is that I want (I do?)  it shall be revealed I only need to pay attention or express intention
I feel like I have been a lump for more than a year, first it was hip pain and  hours starting this job
then it was convalescing,
now it is the winter
what next?

I certainly rationalize and blame others and other things and times for my being a lump

I need to move, I need to move, I will feel better if I move.
I want to know what is next what do I really want?
what about this is important to me?
what will I do to get it and when will I do this?
what else?
what is next?
answer the 5 powerful questions

answer the 5 powerful questions

or sit still, listen for the answers, the message